A salad even a man can love

This is a post about salad. Stop rolling your eyes, this salad is not healthy. THIS SALAD IS DELICIOUS. How delicious, you ask? So delicious that at the end of a long day in which I am getting sicker and sicker with a cold I still muster the strength to make it; so delicious that MY HUSBAND requests it (which is amazing because he never remembers what I make and therefore never requests anything); so delicious that I am willing to eat the calories in a salad. THAT DELICIOUS!  I’m sorry to yell at you, but this salad makes me excited. I adapted this salad from a *salad I saw on Kelsey’s Essential on The Cooking Channel. I say adapted (like a chef) because I just use whatever I have on hand and make it work; which means I use whatever lettuce, whatever kind of bacon and whatever toppings I feel like eating. Also, I changed the dressing because the dressing from the recipe wasn’t as flavorful as I was expecting, and I like my salad dressing to have a little pop.

I will give a little disclaimer (because my coworkers and I discuss eggs frequently at work, weird I know) that part of the reason this salad is so delicious is because of the poached egg. Well, not necessarily the poached egg, but that runny yolk that adds to the dressing when you cut it open. Now people, before you immediately decide you cannot make this salad because of the runny yolk I am going to give you a quick little lesson: yolks are in mayonnaise (at least the traditional way it’s made) and I don’t hear you questioning anything when mayonnaise is involved. Also, that hollandaise sauce you love so much? Egg yolk and butter. Finally, any good Caesar dressing has an egg yolk in it (and anchovies, but you can cover your ears if you didn’t want to hear that).

Now, if you want to say the reason why you don’t want to try poached eggs is because of the dangers of getting salmonella from the egg yolk, then I totally understand. HOWEVER, I don’t see any of you passing up that raw cookie dough or cake batter. Just sayin.

Well, hopefully I haven’t scared you off from eating all of the delicious things you love (Caesar dressing raw cookie dough, etc.), and have in fact convinced you to make this salad. If I have, well then this is your lucky day! Well…probably not, but I am going to give you this recipe so that you can make this for yourself and perhaps someone else. Someone who is entirely skeptical of the plate in front of them and you can delight in the joy of making someone think you are an amazing cook because you made something so delicious it doesn’t even fall into the “delicious salad” category, but into a “delicious dinner” category.

Now before I give you this recipe I’m just going to tell you right now you are going to be very annoyed with my recipes. I am a very “to taste” and “add what you like” cook. One thing that chefs always do is taste their food as they go along. You really should do this so that you don’t get to the table and put that first bite of food in your mouth and be surprised that you don’t like it. You should never sit down and be surprised by your food because you should already know it’s great because you’ve been testing it along the way. (Granted, it might not be great every time, but then you will know earlier and thus avoid the hangry stage by being able to pour a bowl of cereal or order take out sooner). I’m hoping my recipes will help you all to learn how to cook this way so that you can look in your fridge and whip up a 5 star meal with something you just threw together.

On to the recipe (FINALLY!)

Poached egg salad with warm bacon vinaigrette (or Fancy salad as my husband refers to it)

For the salad:

Lettuce: Your favorite type, enough for how many people you are feeding (about 1 cup per person)

Diced fresh tomato

Roasted nuts (I make cinnamon/sugar roasted nuts that are amazing in this)

2 poached eggs per person

2-3 slices of bacon per person; cooked and crumbled and reserve bacon fat

1-2 pieces of bread per person

Fresh garlic clove to rub on bread

For the Dressing:

Reserved bacon fat

Half an onion diced

1 tsp Dijon mustard

3 tbpsn balsamic vinegar

1 tspn honey

Start cooking bacon however you think is the least annoying way to cook bacon. Some people bake it in the oven because they hate the grease splattering everywhere, some people cook it in a pan. I usually only have frozen bacon and since I am completely impatient I slice the frozen slab and put them ice cold right into a hot pan. While the bacon is cooking fill a large saucepan half way with water and stir in the white vinegar. Heat the liquid to just below a simmer. Break each egg into a teacup. With a spoon, create a whirlpool or tornado effect in the saucepan. Slide 1 egg into the simmering liquid. Just on the surface of the liquid, continue the whirlpool to assist the white in wrapping around the yolk. Continue cooking as many eggs as you will need. For the fresh croutons take whatever bread you have and cut it into slices and drizzle some olive oil on it and toast it. Once toasted how you like it cut off the edge of the garlic clove to expose the inner flesh and rub it onto the toast. Give one quick pass otherwise it gets pretty spicy.

To make the dressing take the reserved bacon fat from the bacon you cooked and add the onion and cook until soft. Once soft, turn off the heat and let it cool slightly. Once slightly cooled stir in mustard, honey and vinegar. At this point grab a piece of lettuce and dunk it in there to see if you like it. I often have to make adjustments. If its bland, add more vinegar. If it’s too tart add some olive oil and another dash on honey.

Once all parts are cooked assemble and enjoy.

I’ll get better at writing my recipes. I promise.

I hope you feel like a fancy caveman while you shovel it into your face not caring how you look just as I do when I eat this salad. Really, it’s that good.

* http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/kelsey-nixon/frisee-salad-with-bacon-and-poached-eggs-recipe/index.html